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Taxes Fan-Effing-Tastic

Hundreds of years ago, colonists in North America rose up in revolt over what they considered to be a punitive tax from their British overlords, a tax that amounted to less than 3% of the average person’s income. In today’s world, the absolute lowest income tax bracket is 10%, with most people falling in the 15%-25% range. The highest tax rate is 35%, and under our next president, it will be increased to 39.6%. The highest ever rate was 94% during World War 2. Funny, I don’t remember telling the government that they could just help themselves to my hard-earned pay.

That’s just the income tax, though. We can’t forget to mention the state sales tax, which at varies depending on what state you live in. Some states charge as low as 3.5%, while others charge up to 7.25%, as well as an additional sales tax imposed by the city (up to a whopping total of 16.5%).

Why stop there? There are plenty of other taxes in this country. Had a loved one die recently? Expect the government to help themselves to a piece of your inheritance. Bought a new house? You’re going to have a pay a property tax. Done well playing the stock market? That’s going to get taxed too. Get a free car by going to see Oprah live? You’ll have a to pay a percentage of the value of that car. Want to fill up your gas tank, have a drink at a bar, or buy a shiny new shotgun? You may not see them, but there are taxes imposed on items like those as well.

Wait, it gets even better: Let’s say you buy a new camera online, and the physical location of that store is in a different state than you are. You’re expected to report that purchase at the end of the year on your state tax return, along with anything else you may have bought online in the past year. That’s no big deal though, right? I’m sure you kept the receipts for every item you bought on eBay, Amazon, and Newegg, along with all of those other tiny, no-name stores. I’ll bet you even did your research to make sure they weren’t located in your state, right? Good citizen.

Why do we put up with this crap? Why do we, the hardworking people of America, have to bow down to the tax laws established by a group of old, senile fools who go sailing on their private yachts and can vote themselves a pay raise at any time they want? I’m sure if I could vote myself a raise, sorry, a “cost of living adjustment”, I wouldn’t worry about paying taxes either.

Did you know that congress actually considered an e-mail tax at one point? Keep in mind that half of them have probably never used a computer in their life, much less understand how the series of tubes works. Their rationale was that normal “snail mail” is taxed (via stamps), so that new-fangled e-mail contraption should be treated the same way. Can you imagine what that would have done to online communications? Instead of firing off an email to your boss anytime you had a question about a project, you’d have to walk down the hallway, knock on his door, and hope that he wasn’t busy, or else have to pay a few cents to send your message. How many emails do you write per day? Dozens? Hundreds? What would that cost you per month if you had a pay a nickel per message? Also, how could such a system possibly be implemented? Congress didn’t care, they just saw one more resource they could tax, and left the details to the little people. Thankfully, that particular idea never got off the ground.

What’s the point of this mess of rules, regulations, and percentage signs? Public services? You mean like the roads that are always under construction, the police that fail to keep crime under control, and the education system that just can’t compete with the rest of the civilized world? Oh wait, I know. The money goes to bridges named after senators, welfare mommies who pop out a new kid every three years to get government aid, and best of all, aid for other countries. Yes, we’re sending aid to countries who burn our flag, kidnap our civilians, and buy weapons instead of food and medicine. We’ve got tons of problems at home, but we’re cleaning house overseas

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Added: Monday, February 23, 2009

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